My Confessions II

a little something that i need to get down before it fades..


just been feeling a tad anxious last two days, feels a bit odd that we're not seeing each other as often. but i thought it through. now that i'm used to it, i really appreciate the personal time i have to myself. it's quite awesum =))) it's a lot better this way, for us, and for the future. a neccessity for a healthy and long lasting relationship i'd say.


i had this strong urge to be alone and emo, even for just that short 10 minutes drive. stay high and happy and cheerful at all times is actually quite tiring. @.@ i miss being down and feeling blue.


pls dun get me wrong, i'm not complaining about nething. juz grateful for some time when i can do things which we dun do together. and catch up with myself. =)))


ciao!

juz been reading some previous posts.. from after march 2009.
reminded me of many things..

happy memories that remains..
saddening experiences that we can laugh about now..
wounds that healed..
encouragements that got me through Uni2009..
arguments that are resolved..
friendships that i cherish so much..
same mistakes that i keep making over and over..
regrets that are very much necessary for a better me..
and every msg or 'hugs' that showed that someone cares..
it all mean so much, and i'm glad i have ways of living the past again.

it has been a while since i last re-read my blog entries.
old frens left, new people came.
so much has changed, and so much has happened.
i dun feel like i've changed much.
but one thing for sure, i'm a much happier gal, with much less emo episodes, and more happy laughters :D

quoting my zimui's comment from some time ago:
things happen for a reason.....and these incidents make you what you are today....sometimes it open up your eyes to things that you might not see before.....this is life.....there'll be a day when you look back at this and laugh and glad this happened before......:P

like i've always said, i'm grateful for everything that happened, may it b pleasant or not. and also everyone of you who entered my world, for you make me who i am today =)

all credits to flies, fries and frens =) THANK YOU, for having faith and not giving up on this silly girl. =)

omggg i juz got another speeding ticket.. arrrgghhh
long story short, i was on the way home, very tired and sleepy, and all i wanted to do is get home ASAP!
sooo driving down wanneroo rd, i saw this black thingy on the side of the road, super close to me.
and i stare at it for at least 3 seconds (remember, I WAS VERY TIRED) trying to figure out wat it is.
then *flash* oh yeahhhh!!! it's a speed camera!!!
so yeah, it mite appear as if i was posing for the camera. i was looking straight at it. = ="

GG.. at least $150 there.

*****

speaking of spending unneccessary money, i also believe i'm just not meant to buy cheap ticket.

before exams, i was looking at tickets to fly to Singapore and Malaysia.
SIA ticket was only 700+AUD, compared to 600+AUD for crappy budget airlines.
being the noob that i WAS, i didn't realise it was a sale. soooo took my time deciding the dates and all.
when i finally made up my mind, SIA was 1100+AUD.

part 2 of the story, so i resorted to budget airline, coz i'm stingy and poor.
2 nites ago, i checked and the flight back was 240+AUD on tiger.
but due to results not out yet, i waited for another day.
when i eventually had the credit card and everything with me, ready to book last nite, it was 448AUD.
weeeeee 10 hrs of work, byebye.

*****

but WHO CARES!
i've booked my tickets!!
FINALLY, i will be in malaysia again!!
for the first time since 24th Jan 2005.

5th jan to Singapore.
14th jan to KL.
2xth jan to Penang, not too sure when yet, but it will be around 22nd.
Then back to Perth on 4th feb.

weeeeeeeeeeee can't waiiiitttt :D:D

results are coming out in less than 48 hrs, or even, less than 24 hrs.

the pressure is on! i can feel it.

and also the bad feeling about my result this semester.

please. don't fail me.

i know it will all b my own fault, and there's nth i can do about it now.

but i should b the white sheep of the family. i NEED to be.

Weeee haven't been updating for a while. just a bit of recent news and thoughts for tonite. we (me, bfry and med frens) went on a roadtrip to busselton over the weekend. yes, it was awesum! but being the usual spoilt and pampered daddy's gal, yar i was a bit home sick ><" ridiculous i know. it was only 2.5 hrs away. lol but yar i sure had a gud time :D looking at the photos on fb, i'm missing the company and 22silvergullcrescent already :$

small little town, gud for a short break from perth (mostly uni). will definitely make a trip down there again! and it's close enough for 2 days trip. =) wish to spend some quality and quiet (but only for SHORT period of time. if i move there permanently, i'll just b bored to death) times there in the future. heheh.


Speaking of balance in life (find ur own way to dfly's blog), no, i have to admit my life is really not balanced. Never was, not now, probably never will be. I always tend to neglect one party or the other.


My flies. I really do miss them. It just felt so warm and at home to see hfly first thing when we got back to perth. i miss all the gals talk and outing, laughing crazily at the lamest jokes and speculations. it's a different joy and satisfaction when i'm with them as when with bfry, both of which i can no longer do without. but i can't seem to b able to combine the two together, and hence, i have managed to neglect one party for the most part of the last 1~2 months.

My family. The peoples that i really should appreciate the most, but tend to neglect the most. always take them for granted. becoz i know they will b there whenever, watever, for me. it's not a relationship that requires a lot of effort to keep, but needs a lot of attention to strengthen. 爸爸健康亮紅燈，才發覺自己對這個家了解多少貢獻多少關心多少。

I dunno. I've been feeling like something is missing. dunno wat it is, dun even know where from. is it something missing from the relationship? or from life? or mayb it's just the non-happening-ness of holiday playing tricks on my mind. i feel so slack, so lazy, so unmotivated, so useless, so empty.